Separation

The other day I was talking to my dad about my resignation and he made a remarkable statement, he said “Separation of any kind is a painful process for both the parties”. At that point of time I absorbed the remark, but I understood its true meaning today.

One of my best friends (arguably!! cause he still disputes it) has left today for another city to get employment there, not that it was a conscious choice made by him but then there was not much of option left for him. I had known him for the last seven years, he was my next door neighbor at my hostel. Both of us earned our first rupee together at Mumbai, had studied & graduated together, cooked some wonderful delicacies, shared a lot of ups and down in our life together. He was a rock solid support for me, I relied on him on all financial matters. He gave me advise when I was facing turbulence at my workplace. I realize now that how weak I am and now I am afraid he is gone and I fear I may succumb to the pressures and rigors of life.

I had armed myself with two degrees from one of the most prestigious institutions of India and have been working in the glory of these degrees at Mumbai for the past two years. I had a tough decision of choosing my job, and strangely I chose a lesser paying and unknown employer over a better paymaster and better-branded organization. However, looking back now I can confidently stand up and pat myself on making the choice. I had enjoyed lots of moment at my work over the period of last two years. Although I have not made millions here but have learnt a lot at this place and work was satisfying and exciting at times. But then I had not much choice but to put in my papers and I was forced to make this decision.

I guess these two incidents have shook my life greatly, it has made me realize that I am a very selfish and a weak person. I got too emotional during both these incidents because of my inherent hollowness. I made it difficult for my friend to leave instead of holding fort with him during his tough period. I behaved like an immature kid who was being too self-centric. I guess it was the attachment and the bond which was developed over the period of last few years which made me do that. Ironically both of the relations had started at the same time and are now coming towards the end simultaneously.

Looking back now what I learn from these to incidents are that all good things have to end and one should not become too attached to a particular thing to make it difficult to let go. It is this bond which gets developed makes it difficult during the separation. The weakness of a person comes out during this process and it is a test of one’s character. I failed again after my IIM-B debacle, I guess I need to become more independent and a mature person who can stand on his own feet. A Separation would not be that painful if the bond is not properly developed or the person has maturity in his character. But it is human tendency to develop relations and then get separated because of earthly reasons, I think it is cyclic in nature.

The nobel prize winning thought of Adam Smith says ‘Cyclicity’ of an kind should be broken by breaking the ‘cycle’. I am trying to figure out how should this cyclicity of separation should be broken, should it be done by just breaking the relations or by detaching emotions from relations. I think this should require an extensive research by some psychologist of the order of Adam Smith. But then I am still carrying my wounds of separations trying to figure out how to reduce the pains inflicted from it.

Aski “De Casta”

Mumbai: The City of Dreams

Mumbai the island city, is a city of dreams for some. Everyday thousands of people come to this place to realize their dreams, some are attracted to this place to become part of the glamorous world of bollywood while others come to earn their millions on the dalal street. It has a place for everyone and it absorbs all of them in its system.

I have been living here for the last two years and I must admit that it is like a conundrum to me the more I see Mumbai the more I feel there is much more to be seen and explored here. It has a special place in my life since it is city where I have earned my first rupee, it has taught me to stand on my own feet and has helped me develop myself as a mature person.

You need to experience the early morning Mumbai it is a maddening rush where everyone is running after the trains which is flooded with humans, overcrowded railway platforms and jammed roads. Someone needs to study and research the packing structure of people in a second class railway compartment cause it defies all the laws of nature. ‘Free of cost body massage’ service is provided to all 'Mumbaikars' who happen to travel in such compartments and you get extra-special massage on the 'Virar Local' of the Western line.

If one wants to see the true picture of Mumbai he/she needs to observe the railway system here which is a true representative sample of the city. You will find all kinds of people, see innovative marketers, high-rise buildings, experience the slums alongside the tracks and smell the filth as well. In fact the railways is the nerve center of the city, it has one of the most advanced public transportation system in India.

The people here go out of the way to help others and are extremely gentle and enterprising. It has an amazing work culture and even the government ‘babus’ here are more sincere than an average ‘babu’ elsewhere although their levels of corruption can still be debated. It teaches one to become more smarter, savvier and to adopt an aggressive approach towards life. It offers a plethora of opportunities for the appropriate candidates and gives them a chance to excel and to realize their dreams. It makes you better networked and one tends to be in the thick of things all the time.

Darwin’s laws are aptly applicable at this place and your survival is solely dependent on your ability to ‘fight’ against the crowd. And it is this ‘fight’ which more often than not lands you up in a ‘race for survival’ which gets accelerated on the railway tracks of Mumbai. Quality of life suffers in this ‘Grand Prix of life’ and one gets lesser time for family, friends and interests. People become machines and emotions take a secondary place in their lives.

But it is solely for an individual to strike a balance between professional life, family and personal interest. During the first year of my stay at Mumbai I got into this 'rat race' and was determined to become the winner, I enjoyed the race too. But it was during the later half of my stay I realized that this race is never ending and there are no winners but then there are lots of losers. And then I started to realize the need to strike a balance in the race and it is this race which gave me the maturity to develop as a person.

Mumbai gets you to accelerate in this race which compresses your time-frame and then at some point of time it makes you realize your fate in the ‘race’. This compression gives you an opportunity to mature earlier in your life as compared to other Indian cities. The earlier you realize the truth of the ‘race’ the earlier will you fulfill your dreams in the ‘City of Dreams’ - Mumbai.

Aski "De Casta"

Towards the end

I am writing this blog as i come towards the end of another chapter in my life. Recently, my dream of pursuing a MBA program at IIM-B broke when my application was rejected. I had put a lot of fight for it but then looks like it was not to be this time. Ironically, the same day one my best friends also quit his job and has been looking for another one and finally he has been successful his search. But then he has to move out from here, so again one of the most wonderful chapters of my life of staying with my best friend has come to an end. Another of my friend who was staying with me moved out to another place and then that association was also closed.

I quit my job recently and am going thru the painful process of separation from my present employer. I was enjoying my job, but then suddenly things changed i had no options but to quit. There are several other offers, but then i have a tough time in picking one. I learnt a lot of things at this place, seen a lot of India, what plagues the system, learnt how not to do things which i think is something no other place teaches and it helped me to improve myself as a person and a professional.

Now then here i stand loosing a lot of friends feeling lonely, going thru the agony of separation with a good employer. Looking back in the past i realize last one or two years were really good to me, i was having fun at work and was happy with my friends and family. But then as all good things have to end i think time has chnaged its course and many of my cherished associations have come to an end or have changed their path.

I dont even have a house to stay now, have to look for one and also look for a room partner to share the rent and more importantly talk to someone when i m back from work. Think there are hard times ahead for me. Lets see how i face and battle this hardship. I also need to start working on my MBA ambitions again and this time it would be tougher cos i would be alone and then the memories of last year would crop up and it would be an uphill task. Hoping that there would be some light at the end of the tunnel but then i think i have just entered the tunnel and the cold long lonely walk has just begun.

Aski "De Casta"